• 2:58 PM, 17.7.06
oh. fuck you.
let's see. today was fun yet horrible? horrible in the sense that i found out your true colours.it's really irritating to find out that all this time, i was being used, used to boost your popularity. i think you have a fair idea of who you are. most of you should know who i'm talking about as well. but for those that don't know, i'm just gonna avoid mentioning that person's name.
this whole post is about you. so i guess you should be honoured. although i doubt you would even take the time to read my blog now that you have your new found popularity and friends.
i'm not pissed with the fact that you just left me there alone. i'm not pissed that you decided to take on a whole new personality so as to please the crowd. i'm not pissed that you shoot me dirty looks every now and then. i'm not pissed that you crow with glee everytime i am upset or throwing a tantrum.
i am pissed about the fact that you forced them to choose. i am pissed about the fact that you still act nice to me even though you don't, so as to be able to push all the blame on to me when they realise the truth. i am pissed about the fact that you throw your old friends away like yesterday's news once you have a secure place in that new group. i am pissed about the fact that you have to target the people i hang out with. i am pissed about the fact that you flirt brazenly with every single guy that you see.
you're right. i do think too highly of myself. i think that all my friends shouldn't lie to me, due to the basic fact that we're friends. i think that my friends should trust me when i tell them something, not doubt every damn thing i say. i think that my friends shouldn't point fingers behind me back. i think that i deserve to be respected, not looked down upon. yeah, i guess you're right. i really do think too highly of myself.
but if that's the case. wouldn't you be a hypocrite? in the sense that you actually do the opposite of what you say. you think the opposite of what you say. you feel the opposite of what you say. isn't it tiring to keep living a lie?
wake up and smell the fresh air darling. there is no more "i friend you", "i don't friend you". this isn't some kind of kindergarden world where once you say "i don't friend you", everyone ignores that person and that person becomes an outcast. it takes more than that. i'm afraid if you're going to get rid of me, it'll take much more than just pointing fingers and sneaking around my back.
oh, don't think i don't know what you say about me. i'm not that blind nor deaf. the funny thing is the fact that everything you say about me actually describes yourself? let's see. you said i always pms, what about you? everytime someone does something not according to your wishes, you either sulk, cry, pout, throw a tantrum, threaten to do something, play the pity card, or all of the above. what amazes me is the fact that people actually fall for that, and give in to your wishes. i guess nowadays, everyone's blinded by all the cute poses, fake smiles and kind acts.
i'm not saying that i'm perfect. no one is. i admit that i pms and have mood swings at inappropriate times. still, a friend should be someone who supports you whenever you're down or upset. i guess you aren't my friend then, if you can't even do something like that.
now, the main problem. i don't get why the hell you're trying to put me in everyone's bad graces. you know i don't like you. i know i don't like you. everyone knows i don't like you. so what? doesn't mean that because i dislike you, you have to cause me to become an outcast or something. i guess that your ego can't take the fact that there's someone who actually dares to oppose and disagree with the almighty you.
oh yes. you're all powerful. all boys and girls fall to their knees whenever you walk past. we all worship the very ground you step upon. LIKE REAL. please stop thinking that every single guy is interested in you. it's obviously not true. you might have passable looks, but you don't have to flaunt it every single moment. i know i am not as pretty as you. so what? i know my grades aren't as good as yours. so what? my character is better than yours and so is my eq. you'll never be able to survive in the world out there based on your pretty face and good grades. you need street smarts, you need to know how to respond to people.
wait, i forgot. you don't CARE about what those people feel, cause they're all inferior beings and they're supposed to listen to every word you say. pardon me for forgetting, i guess i'm getting old. so you can just keep on sashaying down the corridor like it belongs to you, i don't care. really. if you wanna keep shaking your butt in front of everybody and make a fool out of yourself, be my guest.
too bad, i guess that you wanted to have something in the group that didn't involve me, but yet, i came along and spoiled your beautiful plans. so sorry. i guess that's the way i am, selfish and obnoxious. i really MUST have a part in the group, or i'll feel SOOOO left out and being left out makes me sad, not like you care or anything.
oh, by the way. just thought i would mention the way that you are so damn obscene. stop being so fugging obvious about the fact that you're trying to get the guys' attention. not every guy is hormone driven (although i must admit, many of them are) and will be attracted when you flash your pants/underwear at them. even if you do want to flash, be more discreet, damn it. it's like. you flash. we inform you that your pants/underwear are showing. you go "oops", sit in a more conservative manner. 5 seconds later. flash again. LIKE HELLO. i knew you were desperate for attention, but THIS desperate?
hmm. not much to say to you anymore. i have no idea why i'm saying all this when i know that you will completely and fully disregard everything in this single post, turn to everyone, pout/cry/sulk/throw a tantrum/be like boo hoo/act like you're so wei da and then just say "never mind. it's okay."
still have no idea how you brainwashed them into beliving you. teach me one day eh? so i can brainwash the president of USA and take over the world. THEN, i'm gonna order all the nuclear bombs to be strapped to you so you'll go kaboom! and you won't exist anymore. it's for the good of this world.
now, i bet everyone's going "aww. poor thing. have this kinda friend who badmouths her on her blog. i bet that poor darling doesn't even know anything! bad friend! shall ignore her for the rest of my life." well guess what? if you wanna ignore me, by all means. since i'm all "pms", "mood swinging" and "emo", i don't give a damn.
to all the others; i seriously believed that you all were my friends and would stand by me. i'm sorry that i got you guys so mad, i really was telling the truth. if you all want to think that i purposely lied so as to prevent her from going, i can't do anything. even without you all, the room was cramped up and most of us were STANDING cause there were not enough chairs to go around. ah well, guess i was wrong. don't take this the wrong way, i'm not forcing you all to choose between us. although i guess you all already made that choice earlier today. i guess our friendship doesn't really mean a thing to you people? thought you of all people would stand by me. ah well. everything that happened today just proved to me that i was so very wrong. if you all really want things to happen this way, and you all are happy with it. i guess i can't object, can i?
love the way your sarcasm just manages to make this whole day worse.