• 5:46 PM, 11.4.08
today is a screwed up day.
the only like half good thing about today was that we got two straight hours of free time.
because mrs sim and misslim both didn't come.
oh, and dinner with yunlum.

other then that, everything was royally and majorly screwed up.
amath, got back a failed test.
physics, fell asleep again.
chinese, screwed up test.

NP. waddafk, damndamndamndamndamndamndamn screwed up.
i mean, i can't even put into words how screwed up it was.
sec1 drills, i didn't know what the hell to do.
and i totally sucked at the whole giving drills thing.
it's like wtf i don't think i should even be their IC.

left early for the UOPA thing which was even more screwed up.
tried to organise stuffzx according to the proposal but wth, like a lot of ICs were MIA.
like hello, assistant coordinator was playing basketball.
and the planner didn't even come for the parade.
cool right.
it's like fucking stressful can.
then had to settle a lot of extra stuff.
from using only 7 tables, we used around 15 tables instead.
like we bought drinks but no one bought ice.
smart right.
luckily, snack store auntie said she was keeping ice for the drink store auntie and adviced me to go buy from her.
so paid for the ice out of my own pocket.
and i'm glad i did, cause drinks with no ice would have tasted awful.

by then it was like 4.30 and we haven't even settled the cadets yet.
and two TOs came down already like wtf.
ran around trying to find the cadets and then gave them their sitting position thing.
not enough tables for sec1s.
the table for NCOs somehow changed into table for food.
idk what the hell was going on.

so then in the end mrslee arrived and she gave her speech.
and during picture taking, i was just sitting at back.
like totally no mood take photos, seriously.
cake cutting was uber messy.
and like in the end people who were supposed to do stuff didn't do stuff and viceversa.

then dunno why the TOs didn't sit at the table we prepared for them.
NCOs had no table.
TOs wanted NCOs to sit with the CIs.
so when i told the NCOs to sit with the CIs, guess what reply i got;
"don't want LEH."
ohmyfuckinggawd, so awesome right.
i love my squadmates man.
and if you can't sense the sarcasm in this sentence, i think you're awesome too.
no one even cared that i went to cry in the toilet.

blergh, ended before schedule because of the lack of food.
all the cadets went for interaction and i joined the sec1s.
they cheered me up a little lol.
then debrief caused me to depress again.

walked to central with yunlum.
got entertained by weixuan and howard's gay actions.
made me a little bit happier haha.
dinner at sumo house.

then walked back home the long way.
mulled over a lot of stuff otw home.
and then i've come to the conclusion that i'm not gonna waste my time anymore.
i put in so much effort and it's like nobody gives a damn.
i'm just giving myself undeserved stress and causing myself to be depressed over nothing.
apparently, i'm "very easy stressed up".
yeah, i agree, so i should just stop caring so much then i won't get so stressed and everything would be better.
i think i don't wanna go for npcc anymore.

tsk. sorry for the use of profanity in the this post.
but i just had to get it out of my system.

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