• 6:58 AM, 25.11.08
Poof
As promised:"well, you weren't really kidding when you said this might be really abrupt. like i said before, sometime long ago, i'm not that easily offended so just relax. although i'm not really very sure you're asking because of sally complaining that i've become distant or if it's for some other unknown reason, i appreciate the fact that you acutally bothered to write an email to try to clear things up.
we might have had a lot of good times together, but what is the point of having so many fun memories with someone who doesn't respect you as a person but rather a fairweather friend? you might argue that that's not the case, that sally really considers me a really good friend but i'm sorry, i just don't get the same feeling from her. and please don't say "she helps you when you're emo what!" to me, most of the time the reason behind the depression usually has something to do with her, so yeah, it doesn't really help much when the person who's making you feel that sucky is trying to "cheer you up".
i'm not entirely sure what went wrong either. i think it's a compilation of everything that happened throughout these few years. sure, you might think that the main reason of our friendship being torn asunder is because i was too sensitive and that everything basically boils down to me being a pms bitch. well, please just put aside your feelings for sally and listen (read) to what i have to say.
would you seriously stick with a friend that keeps insulting you? let me give you a scenario okay. (edited/censored)
and i present you another scenario okay. i told her before, that i thought yongle was cute. since you know, girls usually like to share with each other their crushes and whatever, basically just gossip and stuff. so i only told her, but she "accidentally" let slip the fact that i thought yongle was cute to xinyun. and xinyun told sean. so it was okay, at least only 3 people know, not too many. i don't mind that she sort of hinted to xinyun that i thought he was cute, for all i know, it might have truly been an accident. so i let that pass. but there was one time where we went to pasir ris park or east coast park for our very first 303.5 outing. when we had dinner at burger king, suddenly someone started teasing me about liking yongle. obviously i denied it vehemently but suddenly every single guy from 304 who went to the outing excluding yongle kept saying stuff like, "AIYA I KNOW YOU LIKE YONGLE, DON'T SHY LAH." and they managed to keep it up till i cried. so obviously i was also confused about how all of them knew about it. i asked xxx and xxx about it, they told me that they didn't tell anyone. and when i asked xxx, she told me that she didn't know anything about it either. you think about it, xxx, xxx and xxx who is the most likely one to tell all of the 304 guys about that. okay, fine, there's no proof that she did it for that event so i just didn't really care about that too much. but this event also had another part to it. so after i cried, i went out of burger king to get some air and relax. xxx came out too, apparently to "comfort" me. but all she did was just stand beside me and eat. only when some other person came out then she started to fuss over me, and tell me not to cry and stuff.
well fine, i didn't want to think so much about the 303.5 outing again. so i told her that i didn't think yongle was cute anymore. but she kept goading and goading till i finally snapped and told her, "FINE, i like yongle okay?" so she stopped pestering me about it, and i thought that that was the end of it. but apparently that was not to be. so every single day after that day, she kept telling me about what happened in class between yongle and her. like how he sat next to her for english and how one time he just sat next to her and stuff. if you knew that your friend had a crush on someone, would you tell your friend how that someone kept trying to get close to you?
well, you might think that it's rather mild, nothing special, so i'll tell you about another 2 times then i'm ending this email which seems to have grown much longer than i intended it to be. so there was one time me, xxx, xxx, yongle and i think xxx were waiting at the back gate for sean to finish whatever he was doing and come down. yongle was sitting on the steps and basically just stoning while xxx and i were standing around doing nothing. so sally suddenly strikes up a conversation with yongle, nothing special but apparently the conversation died off because yongle suddenly staring into midair again. then all of a sudden xxx starts messing up his hair, saying that there are flies. and yongle endured it for awhile before brushing off her hand. after that, sean came so we all went to central. then xxx, xxx and i went for chicken rice. once the guys left though, xxx turnd to me and asked, "amanda, are you angry?" and i'm like, "huh? why should i be angry?" and she replied with, "cause just now when yongle brush away my hand, he held on to my hand for awhile..." so i said, "huh, no lah. why would i mind?" and you know what she said next? she said, "good, cause his hands really very warm.... and i think he held on to my hand longer than needed lorrrrrr." and she kept mentioning it throughout the whole time we were eating chicken rice. and jingjing and i were totally "wtf?"-ing at her. regardless, she continued for that whole period of time. now, following up from the previous question, would you tell your friend how that someone showed something akin to interest in you?
so then last but definitely not least, there was one day when i ponned school and when i came back the next day. she approached me before morning assembly and started chatting about normal stuff like usual. then all of a sudden she told me, "eh, did you know, i cry yesterday leh." and when i said, "er, no?", she replied with a "HUH, you mean NOBODY told you that i cried?!" obviously i gave her back a "wtf" expression and said, "erm, yeah?" so she gave this super sad expression and started telling me all about yesterday, and why she cry. but she focused mainly on the fact that when she cried, yongle kept stroking her hair. and she mentioned it over and over again because i failed to give her a reaction.
seriously, think about it. i dunno what's been going on between the two of you. i have no idea what she has been saying about me. i'm not sure if i've told you all of this before but yeah. basically that's just the outline of what's been happening. and yeah. sorry for replying with such a long email and wasting your time."